how to lose 5 pounds in one day
by Bella Rum
H: My doctor still wants me to get down in the 170s.
Me: Don’t you already weigh in the 170s?
H: I told him I weigh 172 in the morning with no clothes. He wants me to weigh in the 170s with clothes on.
Me: Everyone always weighs a little more at the doctor’s office and in clothes, but I don’t get it. If you only weigh 172, you should still easily be in the 170s with clothes. So, how much do you weigh in his office?
H: 182
Me: 182!? Are you serious? 182? That’s ten pounds! That’s a big difference.
H: I know.
Me: Do you weigh with your shoes on.
H: Yeah.
Me: Are you kidding? Take your shoes off! You would never see a woman weighing with her shoes on!
H: smug smile
Me: I’m not kidding. Slip out of your shoes. That’s a pound or two.
H: I guess you think I should take the change out of my pockets.
Me: Duh.
H: And what about this?
He hands me one of those knives that transforms into pliers, scissors, can opener, dish washer. It weighs at least a half pound and it has it’s own case that he straps to his belt. He uses it at work. Then there’s his phone.
Me: Look. I’m going to tell you how to do this. TAKE the darned shoes off before you weigh. Take a zip lock bag with you, remove everything from your person that’s heavy, put it in the bag and leave it in the car. Then weigh in.
H: Are you serious?
Me: As a heart attack, brother.
About five minutes later.
Me: I really can’t believe you’ve been wearing your shoes to weigh in. Can’t believe it!
H: Yeah, I guess those steel toes are pretty heavy.
Me: You didn’t just say that.
then…
Me: … rolling on floor…. laughing…. gasping … moaning — more laughing…. gasping…moaning…
The man has been weighing in steel toe shoes, y’all.
Hee hee. Teach that man the fight art of weighing in. Steel toed shoes…seesh!!
oh for pete’s sake!Steel toed boots and a leatherman tool. He’ll probably weigh in at 160 once he gets all that off.
Oh man! (Oh, men.
This was awesome. Your timing is perfecto. Ever thought of stand-up?
Hilarious!! Men crack me up with their cluelessness!
I used to work at Weight Watchers sometime in the last century and we had a woman come in wearing denim overalls and made us close the doors so she could remove them for weighing in. Now she knew how to weigh in. On the other hand, who in their right mind wears denim overalls to go to a WW meeting!
I was going to say that he obviously hasn’t ever been to a WW meeting! We all took all our jewelry off, our shoes, & wore the lightest clothes possible.
LOL LOL LOL
Yeah, he’ll probably have to eat milkshakes to gain weight when they find out how much he really weighs!
Mary
Flat Rock Creek Notebook
And you’d be surprised how much difference dehydration can make! There can be a five pound difference between morning me and late-afternoon-been-on-the-docks-all-day me!
Just remember – a pint’s a pound, the world around!
I wish I could lose that kind of weight that fast
Big grins!