leaving the house
by Bella Rum
I actually left the house today. We drove over to Sam’s Club. Toilet paper and pot roast and wine supplies were dangerously low. My DIL put a few of those pocket-size hand sanitizers in my stocking. I think she felt a little guilty since it was her offspring who gave me this monster bug. After that sarcastic post I wrote about hand sanitizers, I had to laugh at myself, but guess what? I used them. I’ve been humbled. And I applied lotion afterwards to minimize the chafing. All bases covered.
What do you call those folks who stand at the exit door at Sam’s, the ones who check your receipt against the contents of your basket? Anyway, our guy is probably in his late fifties/early sixties. He has a distinctive, twangy, sing/song voice that slides up and down the scale like a squeaky seesaw on a windy day. He holds his yellow highlighter in his right hand like an abbreviated saber. He loves his job and it shows. Occasionally he sticks his left pinky finger up his nose and does a little pick just before he reaches for your receipt with his left hand, but you are not treated to this gesture every time. Raising the yellow highlighter like a laser baton, he gracefully slashes his neon yellow line down the center of the paper while simultaneously and excruciatingly whining out his spiel, which never changes, “Helllloo. Hooow are yoou tooodaay? Enjoooy your afternooon. Cooome agaaain.” I just love him, but I make H get the receipt. Then I won’t let him near me until he washes his hands. I was disappointed. He did not do the pick today, but I’m certain that he did it sometime before we arrived at his door. I know this.
I want comfort food. So I put a beautiful pot roast in the oven at 300°F * for a few hours with a little beef broth, and some garlic, onions and carrots. I just let it cook away for hours, the aroma drifting stealthily through the entire house. I added a slurry of flour and water to thicken it a little while ago, and I’m going to make mashed potatoes to go with. Comfort food is good for what ails you. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing if my appetite had diminished during this monstrous thing. Alas, it is the last thing to go.
Oh, my mouse died yesterday. H bought a new one for me. I have mouse love. It’s just the usual Mac mouse, but it works and I love the simplicity. I’m easy.
* When writing temperatures, I’ve often used the percentage symbol to represent degrees. I finally learned how to make the degree symbol (°). The Mac formula below works, but H said the one for PCs didn’t work for him. Becca commented about the task bar in your WordPress editor. Select the option that enables you to insert custom characters. You will find the degree symbol there.
Mac: Option + Shift + 8 = °
PC: Alt + 0176 = °