a good feeling
by Bella Rum
This nasty business of being sick for… Can it be six weeks? The most difficult part was the doctors’ inability to diagnosis the problem. They could not figure it out. Figuring it out, apparently, is not always an easy thing to do.
After four or five weeks of difficulty breathing, my heart went out of sinus rhythm and began behaving erratically. The big question? Did my heart cause the lung issues or did the stress from not being able to breathe cause my heart to go out? They definitely affected each other, but they believe an antiarrhythmic med I was taking contributed to the lung craziness. The med exacerbated the entire lung infection, turning it into something much bigger. That’s probably why I kept relapsing. Then the weeks of stress from all the lung issues affected the heart. It was a vicious circle.
Last week was a week of more steroids, breathing treatments, adjusting and changing medications and a cardiac catherterization that was performed when I was already very debilitated from fighting this thing for weeks. Everything went well and I’m finally home again.
It’s been a scary week. How do I know this? My brother drove up to visit me in the hospital and stayed for hours. Small spaces are very difficult for him. My son also arrived and stayed a couple of days. Friends I hadn’t seen for a while showed up in my hospital room and flowers were received. I felt very loved but tell the truth. Doesn’t it make you a little nervous when people start paying too much attention to you at your bedside.
I’m very depleted, BUT I can breathe, and this is the first time in over six weeks that I actually feel like they may have gotten this thing right. I don’t even want to write it here (for fear of jinxing it), but I do have a good feeling about this.
Thank you to everyone for your comments and support. I followed your comments, and when I couldn’t, H read them to me. I appreciate them so much.